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"... most people only seek to argue, not to agree or understand."

This is so true, yet until you wrote it, it was an unconscious awareness I had. I yearn to find a good test to determine when I've found the few seeking agreement and understanding...

The funny part to me is, in my cocksure youth, I was only aware that I really enjoyed the argument (which I considered a "lively" debate). Very glad that perspective changed.

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I enjoy arguments but view them as a waste of time, so now that I have less time because I have more responsibilities in life, I argue less.

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Similar for me, but also that I feel that I can do something more productive or enjoyable with my time. Besides, most people will not change their mind. They want you to validate what they believe.

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Which I feel is fundamentally very narcissistic and has always bothered me because it shows a clear lack of respect for the free will and autonomy of the listener they are speaking to.

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